I am having a hard time right now not feeling like an utter failure at my life. Without going into details that aren’t really mine to share, I will say that one of our kids is struggling rather a lot with a variety of things, and the situation is taking a toll on the entire family. Despite what feels like heroic effort on Olof’s and my part (as well as on the part of an ever-growing cadre of various professionals), nothing seems to be making a difference. Making matters even more challenging, I have been in an intense period at work these past couple of months and have spent far too much time away from home. Olof does a more than admirable job of holding the fort while I’m away, but I know it’s been a rough stretch for him. As if he needed more on his plate-remember, he’s working full-time as well–he’s been battling a lingering cold/cough for weeks now and it’s well past time for that to go away. And I started getting the same cold/cough yesterday and am not feeling my best self today.
And my dog died. (I know, it was a while ago, and I’m dealing surprisingly well with it, but still … my dog died.) And my other dog is elderly (13-1/2), and she’s showing her age more every day.
And I had the brilliant idea to get another dog about a month ago. And while he’s charming and delightful and I don’t regret bringing him into our lives, he’s also an eight-month-old hound pup, and he’s a gigantic pain in the ass more often than not. And the old dog hates him, and the cats hate him, and at least two of the kids vacillate between tolerating him and hating him.
And I have to go to Uppsala tomorrow morning for a brief 24-hour trip, only to go back on Sunday evening for the entire work week.
And I have every confidence that it will all get better and before too long things will feel okay again, but right now it’s really, really hard.