Much to my own surprise, I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to the idea of having this baby at home. I’ve always considered homebirths unncessarily risky, but after having known a number of people who had positive homebirth experiences, I’m slowly but surely changing my mind.
I’m not even sure, actually, if a homebirth is possible here. I know that it’s an option in Stockholm, even covered by national healthcare, but so far I haven’t been able to find any information regarding homebirths in this area. I did come across a Swedish homebirthing website and I wrote an email to the nearest listed midwife (about an hour’s drive away), but so far I haven’t heard back from her. I suspect, unfortunately, that what I will ultimately find out is that homebirthing is not an “official” option here, and I would never willingly go the unassisted route.
It’s not so much that I’m opposed to having a hospital birth (I had a great hospital delivery with Lydia), but I had such a terrible experience when Tage was born that I don’t want to run even the slightest risk of repeating it. Olof says that he’ll be a firm, vocal advocate for me when the time comes, and I know that he means it right now, but I’m not convinced that him being firm and vocal is what will actually transpire.
Ideally, I suppose, I would hire a doula, we would establish a relationship with her, and she would be in the delivery room with us. Some people have suggested that I ask a close friend or family member to act in that capacity, but I’m pretty private and I can’t think of one single person I might want to be with me while I give birth. I mean, as much as I love him, I only very barely want Olof there.
I could never be one of those women who invites her mother, her sisters, her best friend, the lady from the apartment downstairs, vemsomhelst, into the delivery room. Someone on a pregnancy board I posted at when I was expecting Tage had both her parents and her husband’s parents along for the ride when she gave birth to her baby. Apparently it worked out well for her and it was a big, happy, family event, but I cannot for the life of me imagine being able to go through labor and delivery with an audience like that. Seriously, people, this is childbirth, not a carnival attraction!
I had a midwife assisted home birth with my first. I had invited some friends and at the end I had two midwives, one apprentice midwife, hubby and three girlfriends. Sounds like a lot but I was so into my own little world that I barely noticed.
My second was much different – due to regulations I had to deliver at the hospital but I was able to have the midwife there. At the end it was the midwife, hubby and several strangers – nurse, OB, student doc, NICU staff. I hated it and I felt like I had very little control about who came and went in my room. I couldn’t rest or relax and I wasn’t allowed to sleep with my baby.
But in saying that I totally respect how you want this birth to go. I think it’s great that you know what works for you and what doesn’t. So many women just do as they are told or just assume things will go a certain way.
When I gave birth, I just wanted to be in a cave alone.
They used to tie up your feet and hands so you wouldn’t do something, I was never sure what.
I had natural childbirth, but a midwife seems a giant step backward.