We had a family dinner tonight down at Olof’s parents’ house, so I did manage to get rid of the remnants of my Mississippi Mud Pie (I’ll get the recipe to you soon, Ulrika). Olof has such a close-knit family, and they’re all so nice and down-to-earth. I’m very lucky to have them nearby, especially since my own family is so far away. The one downside of family events is that Olof’s mom has a hard time accepting the fact that I don’t eat meat, and she always seems a little put out whenever I pass up the meat course. It makes me feel bad, because I know it hurts her feelings and she sees it as a personal affront of some sort, but what can I do?
I have so much homework for my Swedish class and I just can’t bring myself to do it. It’s sooooo boring and I can’t get motivated. I think the teacher is good, and overall the class is good, but what I need is to S P E A K, not to read simple exercises in a book and fill in the blank with this or that preposition. The test we took on Monday was practically a joke it was so simple, and I can’t imagine anybody found it challenging. I think the main problem with me fitting well into a class is that most of the people taking Swedish have speaking as their strong suit and are less comfortable with reading and writing. Myself, I read and write pretty well, and I even understand the spoken language well, but I’m not confident speaking. Actually, I speak relatively well, too, but I need more practice and a larger vocabulary. I guess I should try to cultivate some Swedish friends and force myself to become conversationally fluent, but that’s much easier said than done.
The language and how it affects my personal relationships really is a frustration for me. I feel as though my in-laws don’t know me well, because I can’t be my “true self” in Swedish. What they know is just the superficial me, and since Olof doesn’t talk much about personal things with his family (or with anyone, really), all they know about me are just the very basic facts. I know that one of his sisters and I would be close if we didn’t have the language barrier to contend with, but neither of us is comfortable enough with the other’s language to build a true friendship.
I know exactly what you mean about being your “true self”. I feel like no one here knows me as anything more than an American oddity since I can’t be my true self in this language. I feel it keenly with Mike’s family since none of them speak much English at all and I’ve actually only seen them about four times. I always feel like they have no idea why Mike picked me since it appears I have no personality.
I wish we didn’t live so far away from each other! We could hang out and talk – both in Swedish and in English. That way I could practise too, and I’m sure we’d have a good time together. 🙂
OH! I know what you mean. My fiancé’s relatives only speak slovene and I don’t. Since we don’t live in Slovenia the motivation of learning slovene properly is poor. This means that they only knows me as the very quiet person, that (hopefully) looks nice. Since I’m an extremely social person, this is not a very true picture of me.
//Kaja
PS: BTW, is there a possibility for you posting the recepies for the mudpie and the “kolakakor” on the site. I’m always hunting for new recepies.
It’s good to know I’m not alone with my language frustrations! Olof keeps telling me it will come in time, but I feel like so much time has already passed and I’m not that close to fluent yet. :/ It would be great, Ulrika, if we lived closer to each other and we could help each other out language-wise (and maybe you could teach me to knit, too — ha ha!).
Carrie and Kaja — sometimes I think that my Swedish ability will just explode someday and my in-laws won’t know what hit them! They think I’m so nice and quiet (actually, what I usually tell Olof is that they must think I’m either really stupid or really boring, because I never have much to say), but that’s not how I am at all “in real life.”
Anyway, about the recipes — I think I’m going to go ahead and add a little recipe page, so yummy recipes will be forthcoming very soon! 🙂
I feel the same way and now it’s even worse since I don’t speak Swedish at all being at home most of the time. When I speak to Johan’s family I sound like I did when I first moved here. Argggg!!! My brain is atrophying.
I know what you mean about the brain atrophy! I love being home with the kids, but sometimes I feel like I can actually feel my intellect withering away …