I gave Petra her first bottle the other day, on Thursday, I think. I had been holding out, and had even entertained the idea of making hers a completely bottle-free babyhood, but in the end I decided that aside from the novelty of being able to say, “My baby never had a bottle,” there was nothing to gain in keeping the bottle from her. Of course, some may take the other side, saying that there’s nothing to gain in giving her a bottle at this late date, and there is a little niggling voice inside me that wonders if that line of reasoning isn’t the better one. In any case, she doesn’t seem so wild about it yet, so it may end up not being much of an issue either way.

The thing is, I think I’m getting a little tired of nursing, and it would be nice to have the option of giving her a bottle now and then. I’m not ready to wean her entirely, but I have to admit that I do have a hard time imagining myself continuing for almost another year, which would take us the the eighteen-month mark I made with Tage. She seems less interested herself lately, Petra does, which adds to my feeling that we’re not in this for the long haul.

Huh … funny that even though I’m on the road to being ready to stop, the thought of her wanting to stop on her own gives me a not-so-little pang in my heart. Lydia self-weaned at six-and-a-half months, and that was rough on me. I couldn’t help feeling it as a rejection on some level, and I don’t think I got over it until I was able to nurse Tage until I was ready to wean him. I think I’m a little afraid that if I nudge Petra in the direction of weaning that I’ll regret it later. What to do, what to do?