A weird thing happened this afternoon. Lydia was over at her cousin’s house, two houses over, and when she came home she told me that two guys on bicycles (teenage boys, from the sound of it) had stopped her as she was walking home and asked her, in Swedish, if she spoke English. She said that she did and they told her that was good and gave her a piece of candy (which, of course, she was chewing on as she recounted these events *sigh*), then went on their merry way. I was completely baffled by this. Later on it emerged that she had seen at least one of these boys before and that he may have heard her speaking English, which makes it seem somewhat less threatening, but still weird. Olof says that he doesn’t think there was anything sinister about the situation, but paranoiac that I am, I can’t stop worrying about it. I gave her the talk, yet again, about taking candy from strangers and she promised that if something like this should happen again she wouldn’t eat the “stranger candy.” I just hope she sees the boys again when I’m with her so I can know who they are. I had hoped that they were Mormon missionaries looking for an English-speaker to ask for directions or something, but that doesn’t appear to be the case, from her description (she said they were wearing t-shirts), and why would they approach a first-grader in that case, anyway? Seven-year-olds are not exactly well-known for being able to speak English ’round these parts. Anyway, it was weird and I’m weirded out.
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Candy from strangers …
September 17, 2003
That would definitely freak me out as well.
Why on earth would they want to know this info?!? I do understand that most people in Sweden seem a bit more trusting, but yikes!
BTW, I don’t think I’ll ever let my daughter walk to school alone – LOL. Can you see it – at 15, mommy comes by and picks her up from school? That particular apron string will be difficult for me to cut. Guess I can always use that as a particularly nasty ‘punishment’…..moahahahaha
It is freaky, isn’t it?
I hear you on letting your daughter walk to school! My daughter’s school is just across the street and it takes her about two minutes to walk over there, and it still makes me nervous that she walks alone.
First of all thank you for writing a comment on Medoue so that I found my way here! 🙂
That is weird, what happened to your daughter. I would feel the same way if it happened to my kids. Like Mo says, we are a bit more trusting here in Sweden, something that may sound good to most of us, but I don’t really think it is. I know people around me often think I exaggerate things when checking on my kids, telling them not to go far from the house etc etc. But I think that, sadly, the times we live in shows a need for this. The fact that I have sons, not daughters, seem to make people think even more that I’m a “hönsmamma” (hm.. what’s that called in English? Mother Hen? Chicken Mom? heh), but I don’t think so.
And I’d much rather be a bit “strict” and fussy about them, then the opposite.
That is just plain scary. I know this is supposed to be a safe place but I am always on the watch for strangers and especially the teenagers. There are some that have taken to hanging about around the preschool when the kids are outside playing so yesterday I had a talk with the kidlet about going with strangers. He knew the right response .. NO! .. but I also know he is happy to talk to anyone who will listen and it makes me worry anytime he is out of my sight.
I hope it was just a case of the boys having overheard her and thinking it was just too cool for a kid so little to be able to speak english. Really the majority of kids are good, we just have grown up hearing about the bad ones.
I’m a “chicken mom,” too, Ulrika (actually, it is “mother hen” — you got it right the first time!). My husband teases me sometimes about being so overly cautious, but I just can’t help myself. There are so many awful things that can and do happen to kids, even in Sweden. 🙁
I know what you mean, Kitty, about the kidlet being so eager to talk to people — Lydia’s the same way, especially if someone flatters her (like making a big deal about her being able to speak English, for instance). It’s such a fine line to walk, teaching them to be careful and use good judgement and still letting them retain the innocence of childhood.
My friends daughter was offered candy from an old lady in their house, and despite of being told NEVER to eat candy given from strangers, she took the candy. (She’s almost five).
Then my friend came up with an aspect that I’ve never thought of. There are a lot of allergic kids around these days. I don’t know ANY kid that would refuse candy, even if they knew they might be allergic to it. Not at age 3-4 anyway. What if there had been nuts in the candy and she was REALLY allergic to nuts?? She could get killed that way…
Of course, elderly ladies offer candy to be nice, but it can turn out that they have done something terribly wrong…
//Kaja
Wow, Kaja … I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of allergies until you mentioned it. That just adds a whole new dimension of scariness. I know every generation of parents says the same thing, but childhood today is so much different (and fraught with danger, seemingly) than when I was a kid.
Whilst it’s understandable that you feel freaked out, rest assured that what your feeling is not abnormal. Even in a safe neighbourhood, it remains best practice to teach children not to accept things from strangers or follow them. It’s not paranoia – it’s an awareness and it is a useful approach to have in life when your child is confronted with an unfamiliar experience. Next time, it won’t be a boy giving a candy but whatever that is, she’ll be more equipped to handle the situation. She’ll improve as she learns and you’re doing a great job.
Thanks! I think you’re right, and it really never is too early for kids to learn to be aware of what’s going on around them.